It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. -Mother Teresa

Monday, July 30, 2012

5 weeks later by Michael

From Michael:

You could easily re-read my original post and much of the same applies.

Things are still very emotional. I have so many questions unanswered and so many questions for her that I simply cannot ask.

 We are in the final week and I dread Thursday. As foster parents we have been through this before. Often times, things escalate to the point where saying goodbye is not that hard. Then time passes and doubt can settle in if you made the right decision. This will be the complete opposite for me this time. I do not want to say goodbye and the very thought of it brings me instantly to tears. I still have no idea what I am sending her back to. I still don’t have a great grasp on what her day to day life is like. I have a decent idea of what her future looks like and as a father, I do not like it.

Have things been easy the past 5 weeks. No. Our “ease” and “convenience” of life has been compromised. Our calendar has been out of control and we are exhausted. Nancy is shifting into a different stage of life and Jojo is taking the terrible two’s to a whole new level. Add in the fact that we are dealing with a teenager, where emotions are a roller coaster, there is a language barrier and rules both from us and the organization don’t make much sense to her. I have added another girl into Laura’s day to day management and I know that has been added stress to my wife. Laura often gets the bad behavior and challenges from the girls and I come home and get the hugs, kisses and good behavior.

So where does that leave us?

Thursday morning, we will take her to the airport and say goodbye. I do not know if I will ever see her again. I do not know what she thought of our family and her time spent with us. I do not know if she would even want to come back. I do not know in what capacity I will be able to communicate with her.

I will hug and kiss her and tell her I love her. I will cry. I will be hollow inside. I will want to crawl back in my shell and hide my emotions within. I will go back to my life where God has blessed me with my beautiful wife and best friend, Laura, my 2 beautiful daughters whom I love so dearly and my friends and family that are such a source of strength and support.

Here we are 5 weeks later and I already know that my world is a lot different and that this experience, although painful, has been a great one. Please pray for us and please pray for her.

6 comments:

  1. Robey - this experience seems to have opened your heart to many new things. It seems this one has been tougher than you would have ever realized. I am sure the unknowns that you mentioned are too difficult to imagine. But just remember that you have provided her love, support and a great family atmosphere when she's been here. So, she'll be a stronger person with great memories from even the short time that she spent with the Robey family!!!

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  2. Sigh--growing pains are always so uncomfortable, aren't they?! I'm trusting that the Lord will work all things together for good for each of you affected by this time D has touched your lives.

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  3. Maybe I don't understand the whole process here. Are you going to adopt Di*na and this was a trial run? I am sorry to say this (because you are nice people and I really don't want to hurt your feelings) BUT it seems cruel to me to take her for 5 weeks, and PRETEND she is your daughter, and then send her back. I can't imagine what is going on in her heart and mind. I think this all borders on extreme child abuse! Expose her to our way of life for 5 weeks, let her know what she's really been missing, and then send her back to the hell hole she came from. I could never do this to a child. I could never do this to myself either. Life is full of enough grief without intentionally asking for it.

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    1. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts although they are extreme. I would appreciate the opportunity to share more fully with you in a way that we just cannot do publicly on a blog but you have decided to remain anonymous. If you would like seriously learn more about the orphan hosting process please post again this time logging in or leaving an email address.

      I will tell you this, that accusing us of child abuse is an extreme thing to do. I believe your statement shows how uneducated you are regarding foster and orphan care. I am not exactly sure what you think foster care or orphan hosting is and maybe you should ask or spend a little time researching before you post.

      Again, I am happy to educate you and will try to do so in future posts but at this point our family is seriously grieving over her recent departure so don't expect anything in the very near future.

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  4. I am not accusing YOU (Mike and Laura)personally of child abuse. I know you sincerely love all children and would never intentionally hurt one, but I still think the whole "orphan hosting process" is cruel. I have done my research on the topic and I have followed your blog from the very beginning and I still do not like "Orphan Hosting"! I didn't say a thing about foster care. That is a necessary program and we need more good foster parents like you guys. Call me "uneducated" if it will make you feel better. You need to learn how to use the words "then" and "than" properly in a sentence. You constantly use the word "then" when you should be using "than" and it makes me crazy. Have a good life!

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  5. How hugely disappointing that this anonymous writer is more emotionally charged by your misuse of "then" and "than" THAN their own cruelty and cowardice. WOW

    My father taught us that we were NEVER to write or say anything that we weren't willing to acknowledge as our own.

    How can one be proud of hiding and saying such asinine things; getting heated on the one hand saying hosting children is "abuse" and then in the same thread complaining about grammar issues.

    Laura....seriously...consider the source; the anonymous source.

    Still saddens and hurts, which I believe was the writer's intent, but sometimes dogs growl at us and we haven't done anything to deserve it.

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