It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. -Mother Teresa

Friday, April 26, 2013

For Real: Am I raising an impatient brat?

Let's be clear, I am not calling my daughter "an impatient brat".  

 We don't call names.

 We don't label people.

(Okay, we say that. We attempt that. It sometimes happens anyway...you know what I mean?)

Jo is down for a nap and I am taking a break checking out Pinterst on the computer. Nan comes up to where I am and plugs in her iPod. (Chargers are neatly lined up by the computer thanks to my organized husband.) She says," Ugh. I can't listen anymore. It is so slow because my iPod is so old."

Nan wants to point out that Jo has this 4th Generation Model and she only has a 1st Generation. I want to point out that I have neither.

My first instinct is to give her a lecture and confiscate her iPod. I mean come on, I would really like to own an iPod...I don't any version of one or even any version of an mp3. (Rumor is my phone plays music but that would involve knowing how that functions and being able to wear headphones...something a person living with a 2-year old should NOT do.) Anyway...What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, how I am afraid that my daughters are spoiled rotten and will turn out to be dreadful human beings because I let this happen...okay, I could actually be the cause of this character flaw.

I am not going to fly off the handle and steal, um, I mean confiscate, her iPod but I am thinking of ways to make her appreciate having it more. Flying of the handle and lecturing is what is my natural instinct. (So much so, I am ashamed to think it is my daughter's first expectation.) Yet, I recently attended a class about taming the "Tech monster" in our kids by Dr. Kathy Koch and knew better.

Life has been busy and I haven't had time to go through my conference notes from Hearts at Home or from the Homeschool Convention like I would have liked. (Hmmm, yet somehow I am sitting here typing a blog post after checking Pinterst. Yes, I see the problem there after I see it typed out.)

So I am going to just hit on this briefly and get off the computer. Nan is inspired by my typing and wants to practice her's! (I just watched a segment on morning TV about how kids aren't learning how to type anymore because of texting...wait! I am talking about something else....)

So For Real: I worry that my daughters have too much stuff and expect things. I need to reevaluate some things in our home. I need to have some real conversations with them. I need to spend some time looking at myself and how I view material objects and respond to things that aren't instantaneous.

I will get back to you on the process. Would you mind checking in with me in a few weeks if I haven't? I am pretty sure I am going to need some accountability on this issue! I would appreciate hearing how you keep your kids from becoming "impatient brats" and what resources inspire you.

Don't forget to check out more from Dr. Kathy. I have heard her speak several times, think she is worth the time and money.  Her organization is Celebrate Kids.

PS: Nan stood next to me and read this as I typed. She says, "True but not your best one." She also picked what labels I should use. She picked "overreacting".


3 comments:

  1. Okay, this is a hilariously hilarious post!
    I don't think you are overreacting (unlike Nan), but kids are more techno than we were at this age.
    I let my kids use an iPad, a DS, my iPhone. But, they don't listen to music, call, or text. Mostly it's for games or looking up something for school (Z just started using it for that purpose).
    We have had fights about all of these devices and they are given a lecture (which is a fine tool to use I think. As the adult in this house I don't have to reason or be fair all of the time.) and they can't use it anymore. When I hear a complaint that something doesn't work right or is slow, I simply say "well then stop using that and go outside/read a book/do my laundry.".

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  2. (Rumor is my phone plays music but that would involve knowing how that functions and being able to wear headphones...something a person living with a 2-year old should NOT do.)

    Yes THAT!!

    At least it is just the iPod she is impatient with. My kids ask for a drink refill while I am making their sandwich for lunch and then say "Why hasn't anyone gotten me a drink?" if it hasn't been filled in 2 sec. I wonder if that is because there are 4 adults in this house and we sometimes divide and conquer well but there are times when Momma is the only one on duty and they have to wait, heaven forbid!

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  3. 1. I love your daughters.
    2. I also love Dr. Kathy Koch, thanks for telling me about her! I loved seeing her at those conferences. Sorry I missed that session- it sounds good!
    3. I just saw this on someone's FB today about the same topic and thought I'd share it:
    http://wearethatfamily.com/2013/03/raising-grateful-kids-in-an-entitled-world/

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