It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. -Mother Teresa

Saturday, September 20, 2014

H & H Assignment: Household Roles

After listening to " To Model Manhood, Immigrant Dads Draw from Two Worlds" on NPR, I assigned  the my fellow H & H bloggers a post describing how Household Roles are in our families. You can either read or listen to the article HERE.

I grew up in a family that was very similar to the one I have now in regards to the way household duties were split. I think it is because of this, I don't usually spend time thinking about this topic.

In general, I take care of the cooking and cleaning; Michael takes care of the yard and maintenance issues. Our children help us with all of the above.

Cooking, shopping, and meal planning are things that I enjoy. Michael does not. I am a tiny bit obsessive about laundry being clean so I wash it. Seriously can't stand to see an overflowing laundry basket. (Too bad I don't feel the same about overflowing trash cans, cluttered counters, or dirty carpets.) Although I still work (Yes, I work: I am a both a preschool and 6th grade teacher), I do most of the household chores because I am in the house the most. The only complaint I have is the dishwasher: it appears that the other people who live in this house are incapable of bending over to put their dirty dishes into it. I can't complain too loudly because they don't (usually) have the same disability when it comes to unloading it.

Michael mows, clean gutters...all that jazz. Although I have mowed...remember the time I had to mow the yard the summer of 2010 even the day before I gave birth to JoJo? My husband had injured himself in a pick-up soccer match and was on crutches.

My husband grew up in a family of two: him and his mom. To be honest, she did like 98% of all of the above (and worked full time) and he did the rest. She is that amazing. Thankfully, he lived a few years in both dorms and apartments with roommates. Even better was the year he lived all by himself. He was pretty self-sufficient by the time we married. I lived in a dorm and with my parents, I don't think that I was quite as prepared for my own household!

When we were first married and then again as children have joined our family, we have sometimes had to reevaluate and make changes to how roles are divided. Our girls do household chores but not because they are girls...because they live in the house and that is what families do.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body.As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5: 21-33

As followers of Christ, we try to follow these verses. These words especially "submit" can get people a little crazy. For us it pretty much it boils down to this: If I am taking care of Michael and he is taking care of me, we are both getting everything done that needs to be done. 

When I am busy with something else or not feeling well, Michael takes care of stuff that I usually do. When he is on crutches (again!) I do the stuff that he usually does. I don't keep a tally of how he owes me and he doesn't for me. Although sometimes I enjoy teasing him about what the neighbors must have thought of big-ole-9-month-pregnant me mowing our yard in August. :) 

What do the household roles in your family look like?
How does that compare to the family you grew up in?  

You can read the other H & H assignments here: Melissa, Carla, & Jen

1 comment:

  1. I love that you are obsessive about your laundry! I can't wait to discuss laundry obsession with you sometime! :-)