It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. -Mother Teresa

Monday, October 5, 2015

For Real




We have been back three weeks and my laundry from the trip although as of 48 hours ago is folded, it still not put way.



I know you want to see pictures and hear details of our adoption and the trips. I just took the pictures off my phone yesterday so know, it is going to be a long time. I am writing that for you and me to see in black and white. :)



I forgot how exhausting it is to re-create your family with new members.  If you have never fostered/adopted you have no idea how thoroughly I mean the word exhausted. This is true exhaustion not just lack of sleep...this is spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional. You have to give them everything you have and it still will never be enough. 



(The only thing that is enough is a Heavenly Father. Again, putting it in Black and White for you and me!) 



Anyone who has followed me for any amount of time knows, my default in stress is consuming caffeine, sugar, and checking facebook.



Sometimes I just want a little "small talk" in my life because I can't handle anything real. At the same time I am easily annoyed by "small talk". (This is possible because I am a woman.) 



I take out everything on my husband because I know he can take it. As you all know, he doesn't emote so sometimes I go overboard.



Apparently my seventh grader has completely forgotten how to do math. She has no idea what a perpendicular line is, how to add or subtract fractions let alone multiply them...and one point told me today, "I can't remember how to precenty."  (That is not a misspelled word...that is the "word" she used because I assume she is trying to kill me using math.) 


Today my To Do List included:
For all 4
-read aloud
-hug
-compliment 
-praise 


(Yes, I had put hug on my To Do List. It makes me almost cry to see it there but that is what is real in life right now.)



We ate corn dogs and fries off of disposable plates for dinner.


So I am being real with you. I really, really don't want for you to all message or text me telling me how sorry you are for me or asking what you can do. For Real posts are not pity parties so I am not looking for any guests. :)   Seriously, as always, I appreciate your prayers, but in addition, be real with me. Let me know that your life isn't all folded (and put away!) laundry and 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Be Real with me please! 


What is something For Real about your life today? 

2 comments:

  1. First...favorite lines...

    "This is true exhaustion not just lack of sleep...this is spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional"...amen and amen.

    "I assume she is trying to kill me using math"...snort-laughter at this end.

    For real...I am settling into a life I never wanted to lead...remembering (and hoping) that it's a temporary phase. I have been a better-than-normal parent the past few days...because I have detached myself just a little bit...and how is that possible that it's helping? I got yelled at by a caseworker Friday (!), and I'm really struggling to forgive her and not go passive-aggressive on her the next time she needs something from me. My kindergartner came home with a note today...that he was "cheating" on a test...and I wanted to laugh and scream at the same time...cheating?!...I'm quite sure he has no idea what that even means. I'm already sick of school (public school...our homeschool is sailing right along), and it's only October.

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  2. In my house, we buy disposable plates at Sam's (in bulk!) so I don't have as many dirty dishes! And, laundry is usually piled up in the laundry room, sometimes folded, but not usually! :-) No mommy guilt here!

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